Daniel (dankressman) wrote,
Daniel
dankressman

Sacrifice, potential, and forgiveness... a tiring three days! :)

Sacrifice for love. Since the beginning of civilization, this noble deed has been repeatedly demonstrated, transcending social classes, cultures, and (in literature and mythology) even the spiritual realm.

Men (and sometimes women) have swam oceans, fought entire armies, committed impossible feats, and all too often made the ultimate sacrifice for the sake of proving their love. The principle of the act carries so much weight in western culture that Christianity itself would not exist had it not been for the sacrifices Jesus made, obviously in a non-romantic sense, for the love of humanity.

Imagine then, in ancient times, how a man would be perceived if instead of asking for an ocean to be crossed, or a beast to be slain, his love asked that to prove his love, he go to buy a loaf of bread... and he was unable to find the energy. Not only would she, as the kids say today, "drop him like it's hot" :), he'd become an outcast in society, and probably never find love again.

In contemporary times, references to the aforementioned principles still appear in literature and popular culture, albeit with modified "acts", but the true spirit of nobility is rarely seen. For instance, my favorite song "Kelsey" by Metro Station says "I'd swim the ocean for you, the ocean for you...", but probably translates to something more like "I'd buy an American Airlines ticket to cross the ocean for you, the ocean for you". Although the thought is still there, the nobility is lost in the sense that before buying that ticket, he'll probably have to take vacation time and make her feel guilty about the inconvenience of going to see her first. LOL

Anyway, back to "I wont go buy a loaf of bread man". I recently broke up with his modern ancestor, and let me tell you, it wasn't a good feeling. I invested 5 months in the relationship, and committed more than one major act of kindness without being asked, at least one of which seriously improved the quality of his life. We got in a number of pretty serious spats throughout that 5 month span (one because he cheated), and had some "breaks". Now, as a preface, he had some pretty serious issues with impulse control and needing immediate gratification, and didn't always make the best choices when drunk. Now, I have some of the same issues, but I'd be willing in a heartbeat to take any steps necessary to demonstrate that someone I loved was more important than any of the above if asked. So, during each of these breaks, I encouraged him, told him how much it would mean to me, and eventually flat out asked him not to go out to clubs for just ONE DAY when we weren't together, just to show that it's at least possible, to make me feel like there was some hope of fixing the other "big picture" issues. Was he willing? You guessed it, nope.

The boy begged and pleaded for me to talk to him, but wouldn't, scratch that, COULDN'T stay in his apartment for one night. Needless to say, having a club chosen over you, and then having it repeated 15 times, not only makes you feel like a total (unloved) douche, but demonstrates some pretty serious underlying problems.

The most recent time set off a trigger in my head. My "what the hell are you doing???" self preservation alarm went off. And in the few days that have followed, I have never felt better. Someone who is unwilling to make such a simple sacrifice is not only undeserving of my love, but doesn't deserve my attention at all. To top it all off, he said some unfathomable things to me, including comparing me dumping him to Nazi genocide lol. Never again will I let someone disrespect me like that. (Sing it Christina!)

In happier news, David arrives this weekend to stay with me for the entire month of July while Nick is in Europe. It's going to be amazing. I'm so excited, I can't wait for this week to go by lol. Will, the super cute boy I went on a date with yesterday, texted me this morning, and we're going to hang out tomorrow night also (PS When I was on my way to my first date with Will, I saw "loaf of bread boy" on the train with a guy who had messaged me earlier asking me to hang out haha). AND, this morning I got an unexpected 1-800-FLOWERS delivery from Drew ,the guy I dated around halloween last year, apologizing for everything that happened while we were "together". He also still has all of my Ralph Lauren Rugby clothes... woohoo! LOL And if it couldn't get better, I found $5 on the ground hehe.

Good things are on the Horizon, LJ. :)
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